the whole world seems to be crashing on me.

day one of attachment, my CI asked what happened to my knee after she saw my knee guards. told her, and that was the start of hell for me.
she went to tell the overall in-charge for my hospital (PC) about it and PC came to look for me.
asked me the same question so i repeated my story again. she asked me for a doctor's letter to certify that i'm ok to carry on with attachment. so i called my mum and asked her to arrange an appointment with the doctor for me. then CI asked me to submit a parental letter to state that they know of my condition O.O

day two, PC came to look for me after she received the letter from my CI. said that the clinical manager wanted to see me O.O tried to asked whether i could do that after my 3 weeks and PC said no. then she said the manager is a very busy person so i had to book an appointment with her early. the manager wanted to see me the next day after my shift but i told PC that i already have an appt. after that so we agreed on the coming friday.

day three. i was serving meds when PC came to look for me. she said the manager wants to see me NOW. and i was like O.O then i need to replace another day? she said the manager told her to inform me that there is no need for replacement. so i rushed back to school.

reached, talked to the manager and she told me to defer my attachment to after my appointment with the doctor. if the doctor says i'm ok to carry on in clinical, then she'll arrange for me to go back for attachment the very next day. if the doctor says i can't continue, which means i can't go for attachments, then we'll have to sit down and talk again O.O

i'm seriously very very very very very very worried now.
my future does not lie in my hands anymore, it's with the doctor.
the thought of having to change course just make me very lost.
i really love nursing very much. it's where my passion is and i seriously want to stay on.
it's gonna be my third year soon. 6 months in school, 6 months PRCP and i will graduate.
i never felt this helpless before. sigh.
if i leave nursing, what else can i do? =/

thank you mum for all your encouragement.
thank you CK for the moral support that you gave throughout those 3 days and for tolerating all my nonsense.